03 October 2009

Everyone sucked on the same wet cigarette until the light came up -- it was the last we had. Somebody said, "Let's share." I wanted to go back there and get in bed with you but I didn't. The guitars came out, I'm singing "Dog in the Butter" and it's the way it was -- a mind roasting in the body’s juices. The smell of me unwashed, cooked. Just about ready. Just about done. Tremors rose from the tips of toes up, my chest heaved. Hair rose. "Sea Born Shivers." Rising, Lord. The eyes are telling us to go. We only have so long. "Yawn Goh Chasm." A stretch from the top of the head back. Release. And like that, the all of us went. Up onto feet, tall, headlong. Forwarding. Long, moving long and at great length, the feet moving body, the body mind. Outland. This then, the other thing. "Downcountry." No shadows, no yesterdays, nothing. A yowling valley-wide. Coming to, a scrambling. And now every thing can be seen. The detail of every little and big thing. The every surface, the every underneath. An aching complexity. The every thread of every yearn. Where it began again and again. Where you always ended, began again. You forever looking, down and in and in. Falling. Oh Lord, I'm gone -- and that’s the story of my life. That's the love of my life.

You wish to come back. You wish to come back. You wish to come back.

I wish you back.

photography/design by Marlena Miller